ringleadering | ic contact.

Romanticizing alcoholism is my job, sheriff.

Can be dangerous sometimes in this new world of ours.

The way I do it its more dangerous not to.

Do I want to know what you mean by that? Is this one of those addiction problems? We got a few like that round here.

Its MY problem. So don't worry about it.
Stop trying to make me feel like part of the gang.

For you to even say such a thing means you already feel apart of the group.
Is that such a bad thing?

When the next brigade of bootstomping assholes rolls through yeah it could be a real problem.
Don't think I'm gonna stick around for a losing battle

It won't be a losing one.
You haven't seen all the things we're capable of doing.
But you do what you feel you need to.

[ ugh, he's so leader-y. pain in the ass to deal with but she can't imagine how much worse it is actually having the responsibility. ]

Do you ever just have a normal conversation?

[ being the leader meant he never had the opportunity of 'turning things off'. he needed to always keep his wits about him. ]

Normal is different for everyone. But nothing about any of this is normal now.

No shit Rick
Forget I asked

[ he's locked into wasteland wisdom mode right now. it gives jess a mission at least: for better or worse, almost certainly worse, she has gotta get this guy drunk. ]

I never really get the chance.
Always something to take care of.
That's what people want to talk to me about.

[ being the leader put him on a whole other level and he didn't often have a lot of extra time for relaxing or shooting the breeze anymore. ]

[ oh she feels below him all right. even if she sort of envies how he can make the irreversible change from person to figurehead sound so human, which no one should be able to do. who knows, maybe slightly because of it. ]

I take care of my own crap.

[ there were so many moments he wished he could give all the leadership roles away but it never worked out. there weren't many others to handle the pressure of it all. ]

You're apart of this and sooner or later you'll have to accept it. Caring keeps you human.

[ "just accept it." it's good for you, jessica. i know what's best for you, jessica. you'll love me, jessica. just give it time.

clearly he's right that she's been spending too much time around people, if innocuous preaching is bringing her back to a role she couldn't give away either. ]

I'm going on another run. Don't wait up.

[ he knew of the difficulties resting with caring about others and the entanglements connections caused. but going at things alone couldn't be done in their new world. there had to be a bond or there might as well be a tomb marker waiting. ]

You know I will. [ all his people mattered to him and he'd go out on a limb for them all. ] Judy likes your stories the best.

[ what is he, the king of low blows? he's got to be full of shit. her stories are crap. she's crap. she's fine marching on towards that tomb marker, as long as her prints are leading away from rick's people. give them a head start. ]

Kids are idiots

[ with a quirk of his lips, he tilted his head to regard her for a silent moment. he knew she cared but she didn't want to, which he understood all too well. getting entangled in people in their current reality led to more than a little heartache but forging a path alone would be far worse. it made people lose their humanity. ]

So are adults but we all find a way to make it by.

[ with a little help from her friend Jack Daniels. she works her jaw back and forth, keeps her eyes on her screen. is this all because she's not a total asshole to his toddler? she can spend less time with her. she's come to like judith but she still makes jess uncomfortable. ]

For a little while at a time

You won't last long on your own, you know. Things are different out there now.

[ Becoming attached to anyone in their world could be dangerous and often ended in heartache but they also needed others to survive. You couldn't go at it alone for very long and hope to remain alive. Didn't she understand that? ]

[ loud and clear. having someone she cared about is what kept her alive when she would have chosen to die. now trish is gone and she can't be proactive about it, or her disappointed memory will be the last thought in Jess's head. best case scenario. telling Rick about any of it is tantamount to dealing with it, and she is dealing with it, by keeping her recklesness contained. this way works out best for everybody. ]

So you'll be down a babysitter. Big deal. [ after sending it, she lets her head fall to the top of the chair back and exhales. stares up at nothing, thinking Trish would like this guy if she were still around. her and her crappy taste in men. ]

[ Alexandria expanded their group in ways Rick never anticipated and while it put a greater target on their back, it also extended their drive to continue on. There were more hands to handle supply runs and to defend what they considered as their own. They all cared about one another and helped one another survive. Without even one, they would falter in a way but Jessica failed to understand it. For some reason, she battled against fully becoming apart of the community and one of them. ]

You know you're more than that. People here care about you. They'd care if you left.

[ she's got her reasons. seems like now she's kind of settled in, folks are waiting for her to start singing kumbaya, or the apocalypse survivor equivalent: crying about it with your back to the wall and your ass on the floor. jess doesn't get that drunk enough to go for it like that, not around them. ]

They're idiots too then
I want to be leverage about as much as I want to be sober

With everything happening, you're gonna have to belong to some community. You're gonna have to hide or fight. That's how it'll be now.

Don't pick any losing battles and maybe I won't have any reason not to fight them.

ic contact.

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